ytd, we had a phy proj presentation. we were inform only 1 day earlier. i went for CO. then, ate with dear. managed to reach home only abt 8 plus. they discussed abt having to do an experiment last min. i had no idea then. i did my summary of the presentation. that's all. i felt so left out when they discussed abt the experiment. i did try to help by correcting them. but it seems like i was invisible. i dunno issit because i was too sensitive or what. that day, it seems like no one was listening to me. during the presentation, i present the worst. having to talk from the screen, stumbled my words. the powerpoint wasn't the final piece. they din use Serbian's powerpoint which she edited. she deleted some of the slides. i din noe and she just pass it to me. i dunno what to do as i din summarise those slides which she need to say. i just read some paragraph from the screen. i was like a fool then. while teachers weren't looking, i skipped those slides. present mine. i wasn't stable then. i just rush off and pass to Anna. aix. Szehui saw the marks. 12/20 i think. after the presentation, i rushed to Cwp. it was raining. they all took the bus which is towards wdls centre. i took the opposite as i need to rush to buy my piano bk and my piano lesson. i felt that they were talking abt how lousy i present. on the way to the interchange, i felt like a failure. my future career, how can i present like this? i reached the interchange. i walked into Cwp. i felt like everyone was staring at me. i din dare to look up. on my way home, i felt that i was getting uglier suddenly. aix. i reached home. feeling so exhausted, sweaty. dear called. i felt better then. he gave me the strength to carry on with my things. i bathed and went for my piano.
today, after sch, i went to have bubble tea & waffle stick with Sharon & Szehui. skipped CO. went home & slept. on air-con. 6 plus wake up. ate at 7pm. dear called. he was worried abt his poly's fees. i told him to lend from me if he really cant find any solutions to it. we hung up then. i done my hw and called him again. had a small conflict. maybe we're just too afraid to lose one another. but dear, you really gotta give me this last trust. if not, no matter how i explain to you, you wont accept it. we both made a mistake. i'm willing to give a chance, will you give me a chance too? i can only trust you. nth more i can do to leave you by my side now. TRUST is the element to our future. i love you and so i trust you. i really do love you. it's deep inside my heart now.
my stomach dun seem to be digesting properly. i just vomitted my dinner out. aix. these few days had been like this. having eaten too much i guess. =(
